Monday, March 31, 2008

Bumps


To realize
that your most prized individual may not value you at all...
that you only lose those which are important...
that you were given nothing even if you were not asking for anythin in return...
that selflessness may lose your sense of self...
that value may betray its owner...
that expectations are risks...
that just being good is not enough...
that explanations sometimes arise only to defend but not to clarify...
that explanations can ruin contentment...
that the insensitivity of the other awakes the sensitivity of another...
that we keep what we aren't sure about...
that you're good but not better enough for him...
that you can love the most unlovable of individuals...
that ordinary stones can turn to jewels in one's heart...
that keeping his flaws and magnifying his best brings out the worst in him...
that omens are sometimes self-generated...
that maybe's do offer possibilities...
that nothing is good but you have a good friend...
that "please and sorry" are not always sincere words...
that you "can" but don't mean to be...
that lame excuses doesn't always have a lame effect...
that love and friendship in the same cage may cause one to breathe less...
that fences doesn't only provide security but also temptation...
that doing things unintentionally doesn't justify pure intentions...
that luck can be pushed and can be influenced by fear...
that you may forget what the other person is feeling...
that you can't dance tango together as long as you want...
that it's hard to pull off people stuck into the quicksands of their past...
that "i think" can mean "i doubt"...
that you can hold on, let go, hold on again, let go, hold, hold, hold, go! ...
that friends are cruel--they give bumps than offer rides...
that bleeding can be bloodless...
that lessons you've learned in a hard way might make you hard as a person...
that tears are solid...
that letting go may lead you more to holding on...
that limits can be left undetermined if you weren't pushed beyond...
that people can be helpless even if help is available...
that pain can be generated by good memories...
that the degree of hurt lies on the extent of your expectations...
that hoping is not always a positive word...
that the truth you withold can be a lie to somebody...
that it may also be the other way around...
that facing ones fears doesn't guarantee courage...
that disclosing one's sentiments can be a closure...
that mean words can aid...
that indifference is a lame excuse not to hurt...
that being speechless may mean you have an insurmountable things to tell...
that you're insane if you're in love...
that much care and concern can stab you in front...
that future is very present to those who are hopeful...
that you can never limit love to one person...
that you'll miss only what you don't have anymore...
that the fear of taking risk will let you settle for less...
that all people are incomplete...
that the right time is always unannounced...
that things seem not to work, but they do in some other way...
that u've been awake for a year (unable to rest) and he's still sleeping, enjoying his dreams...
that one can exhaust all the means and make things happen...
that smiles can cause tears...
that the extremes of your emotions (ecstasy and desolation) feel good together...
that you can possibly work for the best yet the worst happened...
that he never saw you even if you see each other often...
that everything can turn to nothing...
hurts. :((

Fly

You once perched on my branches

You disturbed my twigs,

arranged your nest,

laid your eggs.

I felt important

havin nursed you

and your nurslings

But the moment you

flew, I realized you've got wings

capable of flying

of leaving

me.

Meet the Misters!

Asking… asking… asking…

This is my way of facing Mr. Dilemma. He’s rough yah know! Like, he just gave me a hard tap at my back right now. Tellin me, he missed me a lot and he’s around. I never wish to be in touch with him but he never forgets to REMIND. Huhuhu… By the way, meet his friend, Mr. Confusion. Hahaha… They’re best budz I’d say. Well, well, well… I just happen to be in their company right now! They’re pretty much talkative and they don’t include me in their conversation sometimes. That sucks! As always, they speak to each other in a language we call, QUESTIONS. So bein in their company, I think I needed to use their language too so that I can better understand.

While talking to them, I ran out of energy. They chat a lot and they don’t choose places. Hmp! They infinitely bother asking myriads of questions. Duh?! That’s their language. Huhuhu… This time I felt they are bein assertive already. HEY! Stop! You’re hurtin me. And they slap me with “WE KNOW YOU KNOW!” *Sigh*

Hhhmmm… Could dots make them stop? Like they speak in QUESTIONS so if I threw them answers will it be enough? Replacing hook marks with dots seem to satisfy a bit. <- like that one. But if I ended there? Will you be satisfied? I believe questions serve the best answers sometimes. It satisfies horizons of possibilities as one resurrects answers to nag ones uncertainties. Well, I’ve got a lot of pending inquiries right now. Inquiries that might either provide me answers or more questions. Either of the two benefits anyway. OK! I guess I have to give them both a hand shake. And, continue

Asking… asking… asking…

Sunday, March 30, 2008

This time...

...I'm letting you go.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

"If good things are coming, they will be a pleasant surprise. If bad things are, and you know in advance, you will suffer greatly before they even occur."

"He had to choose between something he had become accustomed to and something he wanted to have."

"Everyday was the same, and when each day is the same as the next, it's because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives everyday as the sun rises."

"It's called the principle of favorability. When you play cards the first time, you are almost sure to win. Beginner's luck."

"...there is a force that wants you to realize your Personal Legend; it whets your appetite with a taste of success."

"Don't forget that everything you deal with is only one thing and nothing else. And don't forget the language of omens. And above all, don't forget to follow your Personal Legends to its conclusion."

"It could be the other way around."

"I learn more from my sheep than from my books."

"[When you're in love], you desire to live in one place forever."

"They trust me, and they've forgotten how to rely on their own instincts."

"It's the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary."

"Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own."

"At certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us and our lives become controlled by fate. That's the world greates lie."

"People learn early in their lives, what is their reason for being."

"Treasure is uncovered by the force of flowing water, it is buried by the same currents."

"Everything in life has its price."

"Sometimes its better to leave things as they are."

"You cannot trust a man if you don't know his house."

"The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon."

"If God leads the sheep so well, he will also lead a man."

"You shouldn't offer something you didn't even have yet."

"When you really want something, the universe always conspires in your favor."

"And I'm going to hold on to what little I have, because I'm too insignificant to conquer the world."

"I'm like everyone else--I see the world in terms of what I would like to see happen, not what actually does."

"There were certain things one shouldn't ask about, so as not to flee from one's own Personal Legend."

"This wasn't a strange place, it was a new one."

"There must be a language that doen't depend on words."

"He was learning a lot of new things. Some of them were things that he had already experienced, and were'nt really new, but that he had never perceived before. And he hadn't perceived them because he had become accustomed to them."

"All things are one." (Mysterious chain that links one to the other)

"We have to live with our mistakes."

"I'm afraid that if my dream is realized, I'll have no reason to go on living."

"You must always know what is it that you want."

"Beauty is the great seducer of men."

"Every blessing ignored becomes a curse."

"I'm going to feel worse than I did before you arrived. Because I know the things I should be able to accomplish, and I don't want to do so."

"And maybe it wasn't that they (the sheeps) were teaching me, but that I was learning from them."

'There's just no way to hold back the river."

"Making a decision was only the beginning of things. When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dramed of when he first made the decision."

"Everything in life is an omen."

"The closer one gets to realizing his Personal Legend, the more that Personal Legend becomes his true reason for being."

"People need not fear the unknown if they are capable of achieving what they need and want."

"We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it's our life or our possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand."

"Language without words...the universal language."

"And when you can't go back, you have to worry only about the best way of moving forward."

"We make a lot of detours, but we're always heading for the same destination."

"All things are the manifestation of one thing only."

"Because I don't live in either my past or my future. I'm interested only in the present. If you can concentrate only in the present, you'll be a happy man."

"Life is the moment we're living right now."

"The closer he got to the realization of his dream, the more difficult things became."

"The language that everyone on earth was capable of understanding in their heart. It was love."

"When two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant."

"Fatima was more important than his treasure."

"If I am really part of your dream, you'll come back one day...the meaning of love without ownership."

"...to see if its silence held the answers to his questions."

"When you are in love, things make even more sense."

"The future belongs to God and it is only He who reveals it under extraordinary circumstances."

"Each day in itself brings with it an eternity."

"Only when He, himself, reveals it. And God only rarely reveals the future. When he does so, it is for only one reason: it's a future that was written so as to be altered."

"Because my eyes are not accustomed to the desert, I can see things that eyes habituated to the desert might not see."

"I can only tell what I saw. If you don't want to before me, you don't have to do anything about it."

"To die tomorrow was no worse than dying on any other day. Every day was there to be lived or to mark one's departure from this world."

"Life attracts life."

"She already has her treasure: it's you."

"One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving."

"Don't think about what you've left behind."

"Men dream about coming home than about leaving."

"If what one finds is made of pure matter, it will never spoil. And one can always come back. If what you had found was only a moment of light, like the explosion of a star, you would find nothing on your return."

"There is only one way to learn. It's through action."

"They were seeking the treasure of their Personal Legend without wanting actually to live out the Personal Legend."

"Listen to your heart. It knows all things, because it came from the Soul of the World, and it will one day return there."

"Because wherever your heart is, that is where you'll find your treasure."

Boy: "My heart is a traitor. It doesn't want me to go on"
Alchemist: "That makes sense. Naturally, it's afraid that, in pursuing your dream, you might lose everything you've won."

Boy: "Why should I listen to my heart?"
Alchemist: "Because you will never again be able to keep it quiet. Even if you pretend not to have heard what it tells you, it will always be there inside you, repeating to you what you're thinking about life and about the world."

"Treason is a blow that comes unexpectedly. If you know your heat well, it will never be able to do that to you. Because you'll know its dreams and wishes, and will know how to deal with them."

Boy: "My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer."
Alchemist: "Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and eternity."

"All people that are happy have God within them."

"Everyone on earth has a treasure that awaits him."

"When you possess great treasures within you, and try to tell others of them, seldom are you believed."

"It means only that the heart does what it can."

"Your eyes show the strength of your soul."

"Anyone who interferes with the Personal Legend of another thing never will discover his own."

"Don't give in to your fears. If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart."

"There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure."

"Usually the threat of death makes people a lot more aware of their lives."

"When you are loved, you can do anything in creation. When you are loved, there's no need at all to understand what's happening because everything happens within you."

"When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too."

"Love is the force that transforms and improves the Soul of the World."

"Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are."

"I only invoked what you already knew."

"Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time."

Saturday, March 22, 2008

From Rolling Star

When things seem too good to be true, it’s because of one thing: it’s about to break your heart. -Shizuru Kazuma

If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were.

-Kahlil Gibran

Samantha and Ian

Samantha: I know you have the best intentions, but I feel like I’m really high second priority to you. That hurts. And the worst part is I’m starting to get used to it.

Ian: I don’t understand.

Sam: I know. That’s what kills me. If there had just been one day Ian, one day where nothing else matters but us.

Ian: I adore you.

Sam: I don’t want to be adored. I want to be loved.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Veronika Decides to Die by Coelho

These are my favorite lines from the book which also led me to implement one of the craziest things I've done in my life:

Veronika: "When I took the pills, I wanted to kill someone I hated. I didn't know that other Veronikas existed inside me, Veronikas I could love."

"There is always a gap between intention and action."

"Nothing in this world happen by chance."

"Each person knows the extent of their suffering or the total absence of meaning in their lives."

"[We are one of those] ...people who have all the same vacant look but pretend to be pondering on extremely important matters."

Veronika: "And it has nothing to do with what you can see happening in my body, it's what's happening in my soul."

"People she knew would talk about the horrors in other people's lives as if they were genuinely trying to help them, but the truth was that they took pleasure in the suffering of others because that made them believe they were happy and that life had been generous with them."

"Anyone who lives in her own world is crazy."

"I want to continue being crazy, living my life the way I dream it and not the way other people want it to be."

"They [people] think they are normal, because they all do the same thing."

"That display of exuberance in which I could not participate was somehow unfair."

"The insane always believe in first impressions."

"Real love changes and grows with time and discover new ways of expressing itself."

"When the days are all the same, they pass more quickly."

"Friendship requires a lot of time spent together."

"Personal growth has its price."

"Did I fight hard enough? Should I have accepted my role as mistress rather than wanting things go as expected them to?"

"People never learn anything by being told; they have to find out for themselves."

"Insanity is the inability to communicate your ideas."

"She had never had enough energy to be herself, a person who like, everyon else in the world, needed other people in order to be happy. But other people were so difficult. They reacted in unpredictable ways, they surrounded themselves with defensive walls, they behaved as she did, pretending they didn't care about anything."

"Hatred. Something almost as physical as walls, pianos or nurses."

"Insanity allows people to feel things that people usually hide."

"Veronika hated the love she had given because it had asked for nothing in return, which was absurd, unreal and againt the laws of nature. That love asking for nothing in return had managed to fill her with guilt, with a desire to fulfill another's expectations even if that meant giving up everything she had dreamed of for herself. It was a love that for years had tried to hide from her the difficulties and the corruption that existed in the world, ignoring the fact that one day, she would have to find out and would then be defenseless against them."

"Present: where all the life's secret lie."

"She had actually felt them [hatred], and they were no longer necessary, they could leave."

"Letting love fill up the empty space left behind by hatred."

"The best way to avoid trouble is to share responsibility."

"The happier people can be, the unhappier they are."

"People only go insane when they try to escape from routine."

"Living a thousand deaths everyday, every night and not one of you feels an ounce of pity for me."

"A schizophrenic is a person who already has a natural tendency to absent himself from this world, creating his own reality."

"[Reality is] It's whatever the majority deems it to be."

"I should have been crazier." But, as it undoubtedly hapens with most people, she had found this out too late."

"No one should let themselves get used to anything."

Veronika: "If one day I could get out of here, I would allow myself to be crazy. Everyone is indeed crazy, but the craziest are the ones who don't know they're crazy; they just keep repeating what others tell them to."

"You have passed through 2 hardest tests on spiritual road: the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what you encounter."

"If people don't like it, they can complain. And if they don't have the courage to complain, that's their problem."

"You have 2 choices: to control your mind or let your mind control you."

"Run the risk of being different but learn to do so without attracting attention."

"It's what you are not what others make of you."

"But human beings are like that. We've replaced nearly all our emotions with fear."

"We are allowed to make a lot of mistakes in our lives except the mistake that destroys us."

"If only everyone could know and live with their inner craziness..."

"The person who's right is just the person who's the strongest."

"[Crazy people] We looked for the easiest way out: a separate reality."

"Many people don't allow themselves to love, precisely because of that, because there are a lot of things at risk, a lot of future and a lot of past. In your case, there is only present."

"Some things are governed by common sense. Other things, however, become fized because more and more people believe that's the way it should be." [like QWERTY keyboard, Clockwise direction of clocks.]

Veronika: Am I cured?
Dr. Igor: No. "You're someone who's different, but who wants to be the same as everyone else. And that, in my view, is a serious illness."

"Diplomacy is the art of waiting, the art of keeping up a facade of normality whatever the circumstances and the art of postponing decisions until problems resolve themselves."

"The great craziness of men and women is precisely that: LOVE."

"The danger of an adventure is worth a thousand days of ease and comfort."

"All of us, one way or another, are insane."